Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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