there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
