I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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