he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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