gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
