just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
NoShamevember. You game?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
