grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
