need another drink. this is the easiest way
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
