At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
