I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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