Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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