Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
