I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
