your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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