I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm at about main and main street
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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