im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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