If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize