Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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