try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
