Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
