the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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