I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
