As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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