I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
