i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
