pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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