You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
