just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
