Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
