listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
