Little spoons don't ask big questions
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So vagazzling was a success
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
