Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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