i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
