hotel room ftw
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
