Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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