it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
