and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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