My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
