shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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