Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize