The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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