you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You don't make any sense
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