:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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