How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
