i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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