she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
