can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
