the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
