Your tits are I can't wait for
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
