I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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