he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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