her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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