you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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