I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
