Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize