I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it hurts more in the daytime
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
