@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
