is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
