Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
