just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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