i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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