I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
