i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
