Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
